Trust + Purpose

Hungry and restless, just a month into the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself urgently seeking. I was seeking what it seems we all strive for, purpose and direction or more dogmatically speaking, faith. I looked to the traditions of my family and was drawn to honoring my Grandma Doris by journeying into the traditions of keeping a Jewish household. My Grandma, Doris, has always offered me guidance. She died at what I morbidly consider an ideal age in my life course, as my 6-year-old brain refused to let her go in any spiritual or philosophical sense. She has always been just over my shoulder, sometimes offering a soft touch, other times guiding me with a firm crab-like pinch that is surprisingly strong and pointed. She has never interfered but comes to me when I ask her for guidance, using her strength only when I ask without truly listening. 

It took less than six hour-long zoom calls with a Rabbi for me to experience the significant benefits of what it means to have faith. For years I have repeated my father’s words, “faith, is simply a gift I haven’t been granted.” But a look into Jewish traditions and how they are reflected in my own beliefs directly challenged that spell I had unintentionally cast by repeating my father’s words. Firstly, I don’t believe my father means this in any kind of absolutist way. He is a man who believes and has taught me to believe strongly in the unknowable magick of the cosmos, in the divinity that is nature. Second, what my father taught me to have faith in, is to me, the gift of faith itself, though it doesn’t quite fit the culturally Christian orientation of the English language. Thirdly, and most importantly for me, faith in the magic of the universe is perhaps the most foundational faith expressed in Judaism.

There is a requirement to recognize the value in absolutely everything in and of the universe in Judaism that rests on the idea that G-d is and creates everything. In a fundamental sense, reverence for G-d applies to everything and everyone, quite literally as it is all G-d.

I believe I was taught this subliminally through my father’s ancestral traditions, likely without him realizing the significance of this messaging in his life or his children’s. 

Despite the devastation of a global pandemic, increasingly abhorent social inequality, and environmental collapse, my faith and my sense of purpose have been growing. As I embrace myself within the belief that all things, all beings are owed the love and respect with which I regard the divine, I watched my mental health begin to improve, and with that came the desire to engage more deeply with my life in order to craft an existence that I consider a work of art. I began to care for myself not with routines that ‘I had to complete,’ marked by obligation, but with rituals that I cherish and look forward to practicing. Simply, I reminded myself to look forward to grooming myself, practicing yoga asanas, consuming intentionally, doing my morning pages (The Artist's Way, 1992), cooking; whatever the practice, I ritualize it to stay present with the gifts that are the ability to enact these rituals, the time, the knowledge, the work of the ancestors that brought me to this sacred moment I am in.

This practice gave me trust in myself.

It has also supported a sense of purpose giving me the confidence to invest in a master's program to study Social Work. I thought I chose Social Work because my Grandma Doris was a Social Worker but I believe the part of me that knew to do my research, to investigate the distinctions between the many mental health practices and degrees, saw that there is something bigger to why and how Social Work became my path. The field takes a highly practical (and hopefully accessible) approach to mental health by including the many facets of the individual human experience. For example, a social worker is called to recognize the interconnected nature of mental illness and homelessness as part of the wellness of a client experiencing both, rather than attempting to treat for one or the other. Later, through my studies, I would learn that the code of ethics at the foundation of Social Work played a powerful part in my decision as they seem informed by Jewish values, though potentially a subconscious reflection of Jewish values. This idea clicked into place for me when I studied Frances Perkins, appointed by FDR as the first female to a cabinet seat in the role of crafting social security policy in its nascent form. Since then, it seems Jewish people have continued to play a pivotal role in crafting and practicing in the field of Social Work.   

As it was with my undergraduate education in linguistics and photography, the connections were all so potent I couldn’t stop noticing them. That’s when astrology, a modality that has always fascinated me, was offered to me as the second field of study that would influence me in this phase of life. A mentor of my father’s introduced me to Debra Silverman, a giant in the astrology world and a former psychotherapist. As I dove into the wisdom of the cosmos and what astrology can offer the individual and the collective, I began to see the potential of astrology as a practice to support people’s sense of faith and purpose. Every interpretation I made for myself or reading I have offered has tapped into these two pillars. Meanwhile, many of the texts (here’s another) I read in my Social Work studies suggest purpose and faith or trust to be protective factors against depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges including addiction. The field of Social Work requires practitioners to abide by a code of ethics, one that preserves social justice and human dignity. The ethical compass of Social Work also reminds practitioners that no method of treatment that offers healing, *ideally* without harm, should be excluded particularly according to social, political, or spiritual bias. Over and over, astrology has presented itself to me as a tool that supports a sense of purpose and trust in self and/or the universe. The principles of Social Work seem to require the respect of the tradition of astrology despite it being culturally regarded as ‘the most woo of all things woo’ to quote Jessica Lanyadoo. At the end of the day, no matter how ‘woo’ one regards the modality, astrology can help people find a sense of trust or faith and purpose, and that is worth doing for the individual and collective sense of well-being.